When news first broke that Jeremy Clarkson had been hospitalised with pneumonia and was unable to perform his duties as host of The Grand Tour, the internet was as awash with smart-ass comments as it was with well wishes. Such is the way with anything involving Jeremy Clarkson.
The folks at Amazon naturally caught on to this pretty quickly, and in true GT fashion, quickly distilled a world’s worth of sarcasm into the job advertisement for his temporary replacement.
The ad reads as follows:
Amazon Prime Video is seeking a host for an original TV series to be seen around the world.
Currently, this is a temporary position to cover an absence due to pneumonia.
The successful applicant will join a long-established team of variously sized co-hosts and possess a strong knowledge of cars, metaphors and progressive rock music.
This host will have a proven track record in effectively dealing with colleagues that they find annoying and being lost in unknown locations. They must be entertaining, engaging and willing to pause before delivering the final word or words of some sentences.
Please note: Preference will be given to especially tall candidates with curly hair.
- This role will work closely with the existing hosts, with duties including (but not limited to) accidentally setting things on fire, handling heavy machinery (badly) and being able to bloody-mindedly argue a point that no one will ever agree.
- Driving the world’s fastest and most exciting cars while talking to camera. Ability to do this without crashing would be considered an advantage, but not essential (apparently).
- Valid driver’s license
- British English including advanced qualification in exaggeration and braggadocio
- At least 6.5+ million followers on Twitter or similar social media network
The successful applicant will be required to wear vast amounts of pre-washed denim (attire provided in sizes that are slightly too small).
Not exactly the strictest criteria given the average Grand Tour viewer, but the vast social media following may be a step too far for most.
Season 2 of TGT is still on hold mid-filming as Clarkson recovers from the illness he picked up while on holiday in Majorca, but is still due for release later this year. Right now though, it just seems a shame for all their hiring power, the BBC weren’t able to follow this criteria when searching for their new Top Gear hosts.
If you fancy being one of the thousands of applicants for this job, you can put your name in the hat here.